I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
