well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
