Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
