I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
