Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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