All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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