He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
