You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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