dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
sex in a hospital.. check
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
