Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
