Even the bartender felt bad for me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
