Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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