can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
