I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
