covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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