This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
