Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
