My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
