Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize