Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
