Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
