Welp...herpes.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just forgot I was standing up.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize