I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
