Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
