Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
