don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
