"it" just moved
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
