He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
home. puking in laundry basket.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
