Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
where does the pee come out of this thing
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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