it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
