positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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