Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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