I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
