Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
