What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
