i just had sex bonerless
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
