My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's just like the Real World with babies
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
