I'm eating all of the evidence.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
