Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
