haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
