All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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