cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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