Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
