Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
