I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
