Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
