Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
