i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
