he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
