Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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