guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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