Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
