i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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