How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
