For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
