omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
