Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She bit a glass in half.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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