there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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