The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
