I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's official drugs can't kill me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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