She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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