is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
