His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
